[00:00:00] This is the Vanessa Barrington Show.
[00:00:06] Hello. Hello, and welcome back to the Vanessa Barrington Show. I'm your host, Vanessa, and today we are gonna be talking all about discipline and how do you ensure that when you're setting out on those big projects, whether it's creating a powerful artwork or. Writing a book or setting yourself a target to build an audience or gain reviews or pitching yourself to publishers, how do we do that when we can feel at times like we lack the discipline to do so?
[00:00:42] Hi, I'm Vanessa Barrington, also known as the book Doula founder for Healing House Publishing Psychic Medium, and a woman on a mission to heal the world through stories. If you're a healer, coach, creative or expert, I help you turn your story into a published book and a global movement that builds authority, impact, and legacy.
[00:01:04] This is not a writing podcast. It's a show where I explore voice, truth, spirituality, and what it really takes for you to trust yourself and share your story with the people who most. Need it. This is the Vanessa Barrington Show, and in today's episode I was really guided to want to talk about this subject because I think it's one of those things that we can really think that we either have or don't have.
[00:01:30] And if I reflect on my own journey in business and in life in the past, I was someone that really described myself as lacking discipline in a lot of ways. And I was someone that would. Uh, set goals for myself, have all the best intentions of what it was that I wanted to create, and then find that life got in the way.
[00:01:55] Inevitably, the thing that I was really most wanting to achieve would get pushed down the list. And maybe that's something you relate with. Maybe that's something that happens to you as well. Maybe you've been wanting to write a book for a really long time, but you just find that all these other things keep getting in the way, or it keeps getting pushed down the priority list because you are juggling lots of different things, and that can be very normal, especially if you're a busy entrepreneur, if you're a coach, if you've got some kind of a clinical practice.
[00:02:23] Where you wanna be doing the thing, but you're just not finding the time to do it. If that's you, I want to invite you for a sec just to consider that discipline is not a personality trait. Discipline is a choice that we make, and it's a behavior that we choose to embody. And when we start to recognize the cost of inaction and the cost of not.
[00:02:50] Going after those big goals, we can then start to appreciate why having a story around discipline, an old story that we're not disciplined or that we're a procrastinator, or that we don't naturally do the things that we want to do, we can actually start to change the narrative. So much of our life is created not only by our environment and by the rooms that we place ourselves in and the people that we choose to spend our time with.
[00:03:17] A lot of what we create in our reality is really down to our daily habits and our daily behaviors, and we make choices thousands upon thousands of choices each and every single day. And so if you are someone that has had writing your book on the to-do list for a really long time and you have not been making progress on it.
[00:03:37] I wanna invite you to consider and just take a moment, maybe you even wanna grab a journal, or if you're walking the dog right now listening to this podcast, open up the notes on your phone and consider what is it that I've been procrastinating on? First and foremost. So what is the thing? Write down the thing that you have been avoiding that you've been really wanting to do, but you're finding that you're not getting time to do.
[00:03:58] The second thing that I want you to then reflect on and take a moment to think about is. What has been the consequence of you not taking action on that things? What has been the cost? Now, that cost might be energetic, it might be an emotional cost. It might even be a physical cost of perhaps you invested in working with someone and you didn't actually.
[00:04:22] See it through, or maybe you procrastinate, you didn't take full advantage of the investment. Maybe you signed up for writing courses and you didn't do them. Whatever it is. I just want you to take a moment, and this is without judgment, right? So we don't wanna get into this. A situation where you're kind of beating yourself up because you didn't do the thing.
[00:04:40] 'cause that's not gonna be productive to anyone. But I want you to just take a moment to consider, did I say I was gonna do it? And if I didn't, what is the cost actually being for that? Then what I want you to do is I want you to just take a moment to journal on and think about what is the cost going to be.
[00:04:59] If I continue to hold this story that I'm not disciplined, what is the cost going to be in maybe a few weeks? What's gonna be the cost in a few months? What will be the cost in a few years? Now that cost could be different for everyone. It could be costs around lost clients. It could be a cost around potentially lost sales.
[00:05:20] It could be a cost around continuing to invest and not getting the results. It's gonna be different for all of you, but I want you to take a moment to just consider if you continue to hold this belief around not being disciplined or not being able to do the thing because of time or you know, whatever.
[00:05:35] What's the cost of that going to be? I then want you to take yourself out five years from now and pretend that the thing that you're still wanting to do, you still haven't done. What is the cost? Then? What does the cost become? If you leave this planet and you have not done that thing, what is the cost then?
[00:05:55] Is the cost down the generational line, down the ancestral lines to future generations that they don't get that? Wisdom is the cost that other people don't actually get. The information that you really need to share about those particular systems or that event that happened to you, or whatever it is. So I want you to take a moment to consider those things as well.
[00:06:15] Now, the reason I'm asking you to consider the cost is not because I want you to be beating yourself up. It's actually because in our subconscious, our brains are essentially primed to keep us safe. And if your brain. Sees that doing a particular thing, say writing a book or releasing your book is in some way going to create a lack of safety for you.
[00:06:44] It's gonna make you feel exposed or visible or whatever it is. The only way that we can start to train the brain to do the thing, no matter how much you want to do it, is for you to see that it's going to cost you to keep. Holding onto the habits and behaviors. The choices that you are making around how you're moving through the world today.
[00:07:10] Once we understand the consequence, not only the immediate consequence, possibly past consequences and costs that have come, and also the future consequences, then we can start to recognize that, hey, if I actually hold onto this thing, if I keep making choices from this place of fear that I'm gonna be unsafe somehow, or exposed in some way or whatever.
[00:07:34] But it's going to cost me X, Y, Z. Then you're going to actually start changing. You're gonna start making different moves. You're gonna start making different choices because you're not going to want to continue to have those consequences appear in your reality. Now, this is something that you can choose to drop immediately once you recognize the cost.
[00:07:55] Sometimes it can be as simple as that. That, okay, well now I understand the consequences of choosing to be undisciplined or choosing not to do the thing. I can simply just decide I'm not gonna do that anymore. And for some people, that's gonna be all that's required, that once you understand the cost, you're gonna be able to move through it and you're gonna go, you know what?
[00:08:14] This is actually costing me big time. If I don't do this, I'm gonna stay exactly where I am. I'm gonna stay. Small, I'm not gonna reach the people I wanna reach, et cetera, et cetera, for other people. Sometimes we need to then further anchor into this by understanding not only what the cost is, but also committing to what I call.
[00:08:35] Non-negotiable standards and non-negotiable habits and behaviors because so much of our reality is really informed by the actions that we take. And although our spiritual team, if you're someone that is very spiritual like I am, and remember everything I'm sharing with you today is channeled. So if you are listening to this, that's not a coincidence.
[00:08:58] Okay? I wanna say that to you. The thing is, even though. Your team, your spiritual team are there to support you and even though they know what your goals are, and even though they want the very best for you and are always working for you in your human body, you have free will and free choice. And so you must ensure that if you have a goal, if you have something that you're wanting to create in your life.
[00:09:31] You must use your free will and free choice to take the steps that you want to, to take, that you know are gonna be the positive behaviors and habits that are gonna support your goals. Because it's not like, and this is where I get a little bit wild with manifestation coaches and, and guff that we hear online about manifestation.
[00:09:54] It's not simply a case of I'm just gonna wish for this thing and it's gonna drop in my lap. You must be disciplined in taking the steps and making the moves each and every single day that demonstrate to your team that you are serious about what it is that you are wanting to create. And then what you must do is actually be detached from the outcome and trust that by being and embodying those behaviors and taking those daily steps and listening to your intuition.
[00:10:27] Listening to what you're being guided to do and acting on that advice, that's all part of it as well. Okay? So it's really super important that you're doing those things, okay? And when we can marry the habits and the behaviors with the goal, that's actually when you're gonna start to see results. So I think one of the biggest challenges that a lot of people have when they set out to write a book, it is no small feat to write a book, but at the same time.
[00:10:57] You can write a book in under 30 days. You can literally sit down and draft the first draft of your manuscript in 25 hours. Now, a lot of people will find that very challenging to believe because they may have been trying to do this for 10, 15, 20 years. And I've met and worked with many clients before they met me that were in that pain, that we're in that difficult situation of, you know, wanting to do it and spinning wheels and doing all of those things.
[00:11:24] If I was then to ask a person, and maybe that's even you that's listening to this, that's been wanting to do this for a long time, I would invite you, look back, what has been the habits and behaviors that you've been choosing in relation to that goal. Have you been, for example, showing up at the page every single day?
[00:11:43] Have you been in the practice of writing regularly? Have you been trusting your intuition? Have you been acting on those little creative urges? Have you been taking. That guidance beyond just jotting down a few notes in your phone and actually showing up at the computer and spending a couple of hours writing, because you can't just do both.
[00:12:03] You can't be like, okay, well I'm gonna have the goal and dream of it, but I'm not going to, and I'm gonna jot down the things in my journal, but I'm not actually gonna show up at the page. It doesn't work that way. Your book does not get created that way. Your book gets created by having a structured container.
[00:12:21] As well as a commitment that you are making and demonstrating to yourself. Now, I don't wanna oversimplify this conversation, right, because I know that there is a whole range usually of beliefs that are firing below the surface of a decision to procrastinate. And please hear me when I say that. Doing nothing or procrastinating is, is doing something and there is a course that comes with that choice to procrastinate with that decision to do nothing.
[00:12:55] So I really wanna invite you to consider, look back at your past behaviors, and I don't want you to do this from a place of judgment. I want you to almost pretend like you're a scientist. Put the scientist cape on and just look back and jot down. What have been my weekly commitments? What, where have I been spending my time?
[00:13:15] What actions have I been taking or not taking? And we can dive into in a future episode around what are some of those underlying behaviors that might be causing that? Like a big one for people is fear of being seen. And I see this all the time actually with those who are writing as well, the fear of finishing.
[00:13:32] So they continue to work and rework and rework their work. Because the beautiful thing and also the challenging thing about writing is it's highly subjective and you can continue to edit a piece of content forever and still not feel like it's perfect, but at some point or another, you need to trust yourself and decide that this is good enough, it's the best that I possibly can do, and therefore that's the decision I'm gonna make, that it's done, and then to own that decision that it is done.
[00:14:02] So I wanna leave you today with a bit of a suggestion around this. If this is something that you have been struggling with, I wanna invite you to really dig into and journal on what is it that you are afraid of, that you're worried is gonna happen, maybe not afraid, but just you're trying to avoid happening if you do the thing.
[00:14:24] What are you concerned about is gonna happen? What are you concerned that you're gonna write or what you're gonna write is going to do? And then I really wanna invite you to just take some time to journal on the cost and the consequence of staying where you are because, and make it hurt. Like I, I wanna, I really wanna invite you to just get tough on yourself and really, really look at the cost, like what it is actually costing you to avoid the thing.
[00:14:53] Because when you understand the cost and you really know the cost, and you've fully understood the cost, not just now, but over the long term and what it's already cost you, then you will start to make some changes in your life. I have found that implementing non-negotiable habits and behaviors in my life has been nothing short of life changing.
[00:15:20] Now, for me personally, some of the smallest, seemingly insignificant decisions that I've made have been the biggest in my life because when we make small daily habits and behaviors. We make a small commitment. It could be as simple as, for example, I'm gonna go for that daily walk for 30 minutes, or I'm gonna commit to those 10,000 steps.
[00:15:46] I'm gonna commit to sit in silence for five minutes, three times a day, and connect with source before I do this next thing that I'm doing For me, one of my biggest ones was choosing to swim in the ocean every day. Now, when I made that decision. A couple of years ago, I didn't set out, like with this big goal that I was gonna crack open my psychic awareness and my business was gonna explode, and I was, you know, seeking all of these things.
[00:16:17] I simply knew that I wanted to make a decision for myself that every single day as someone that had had a history of overgiving, lack of boundaries doing for everyone else, and not pouring into my own cup. That having that swim every day was going to become my non-negotiable, unbreakable standard of what I do for myself every day.
[00:16:40] That demonstrates to myself in a very disciplined way that I love myself and that I'm caring for myself now. That's how simple this gets to be. So your disciplined action, and this is just an, an example, could be that you are gonna keep a journal beside your bed and every single morning as a non-negotiable.
[00:17:01] When you first roll outta that bed or when you first wake up, you are gonna grab your journal and you're gonna write two a four pages every single day. And it can be as small as that. And what I can guarantee you that if you commit to whatever that thing is that's dropping into your intuition as you listen to this, it will change your life.
[00:17:26] Without a doubt. Now, I wanna wrap up this episode today by also just mentioning to you if you are someone that has really struggled with writing your book, if you do feel like you're being procrastinating or you feel like you are lacking that discipline and you really want to understand and dig into why, what are, what is, what's sort of underneath some of that, and start to understand how you can shift it.
[00:17:53] I am actually running a free live training now. This free live training is super exciting because I don't run these very often, and this year I've made a commitment. One of my commitments has been to really try and reach as many people as I possibly can this year because I am on such a mission to help other lightworkers, to help other high achieving coaches and creatives.
[00:18:21] Who are feeling that call to get their books out into the world, to have access to the tools and the systems and the frameworks and the support and the structure that I know that they need to be able to do that. And so as part of that commitment I'm making to myself, I'm gonna be running a series of these free live webinars over the next couple of months.
[00:18:43] If you're listening to this, I'm recording this on the 2nd of March, on the Monday. I'm gonna be running these webinars over the next, I think, six weeks or so. So if you are listening to this and you know that you have got a book inside you, you've been wrestling with a book for a little while, come along to my free training in it.
[00:19:01] I'm going to show you my fail proof method to write your book. Under 30 days. Yes, I did say under 30 days. Now this is for you, even if you've got a million priorities, even if you're juggling all the things, even if you have been trying to do it for 10 years. Even if you're just sitting with an idea, even if you just fill the pull to write a book, but you're not sure what it's about yet, this webinar is gonna help you so much energetically, editorially, and also practically as well.
[00:19:32] Because in this webinar I'm gonna share with you. How you can actually map your plan to finish your book, not in weeks in seconds. So you're gonna walk away from this webinar knowing exactly what you need to do, how many sessions of writing you need to do, what that needs to look like, and you're also gonna have so many creative downloads coming in for you about what your book is about, and who you're here to serve, and what your next step needs to be.
[00:19:59] So if that sounds like something that you would like to take advantage of, just jump into the show notes. I'll make sure that the team put the link there, sign up for this free live training at 60 minutes. And honestly, I'm just gonna say to you that even if you've tried all the other things, this is going to help you get your book finished in the next 30 days.
[00:20:19] Alright guys. I hope you found today's episode useful. I would love to hear from you as well. I love connecting with you via Instagram. You can find me at book doula, DOUL acore au. Come and say hi. Slide into my dms or tag me while you're listening to this podcast. I love hearing from you guys. I'm so grateful always for your feedback.
[00:20:42] And finally, I just wanna thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me today. I hope that this episode offers you some guidance and also really helps you to uncover where it is that maybe you've been sabotaging yourself and preventing your own success by holding onto an old story that just doesn't serve you anymore.
[00:21:04] About being disciplined. 'cause honestly, when we start to understand that cost of what it's actually costing us, and then we start making those unbreakable standards, those non-negotiable habits and daily moves to really make progress on our goals, everything becomes possible for us. You watch how the universe.
[00:21:22] Your Spirit team rallies behind you literally to make sure that your goal is manifest in your reality. Have a beautiful week guys, and I will see you real soon. See ya.
